John asks his grandpa: "Do you still have sex with Granny?"

Grandpa says: "Yes, but only Oral".

John says: "what is oral?"

Grandpa: "I say F**k you, and she says:F**k you too"

 

The 3 tragedies in a man’s life:

1- life sucks

2- job sucks

3- Wife does NOT!

 

A man is dying of cancer.

His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you’re dying of AIDS??".

Answer: "so that when I die, no one will dare to f**k your mother."

 

"I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem.

Your brain is in 2 parts… Left and right.

The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it"

 

YESTERDAY NEWS: A nun jogging in the park was raped.

TODAY’S NEWS: Hundreds of nuns are jogging in the park!

 

Question: "Why is a waist called a waist?"

Answer: "Because anything above the p**sy and below the tits is a waste"

 

A lady tells her Man: "I demand good manners in bed, just like at thedinner table".

The man climbs into bed slowly and says:

"Honey, would you please pass me the vagina?"

 

Question: "what’s common between a good-looking, faithful, rich husband who satisfies his wife sexually every night and Bin Laden?"

"BOTH CANNOT BE FOUND"