How to ask your boss for salary increment?

Posted on 14. Apr, 2007 by Alicia in Funny, Jokes

One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary!

Here is the letter:

Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,
Marian $hih

The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:
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Woman Are Dangerous

Posted on 28. Mar, 2007 by Alicia in Jokes

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a Good trip.

The wife answers : “Thank you honey, what would you like me to Bring for you?”

The husband laughs and says: “An Italian girl !!!”
The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”

“Very good, thank you.”

“And, what happened to my present?”

“Which present?” She asked.

“The one I asked for – an Italian girl!!”

“Oh, that” she said “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!”
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Moral of the story: Don’t tempt a woman, they are far too intelligent!

The letter to God

Posted on 20. Mar, 2007 by Alicia in Jokes

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money i had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna
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Software Development Cycle

Posted on 17. Mar, 2007 by Alicia in Jokes

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduces 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free……

Your Boss Died Last Week

Posted on 14. Mar, 2007 by Alicia in Jokes

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses’ wife instead. “I’m afraid he died last week.” she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. “I told you” the wife replies, “he died last week.” The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss.

By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, “I’VE ALREADY
TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?”

He replied laughing,
“I just love hearing it…”

A laugh or two

Posted on 09. Mar, 2007 by Alicia in Jokes

Many men think that “the larger the woman’s breasts, the less intelligent she is. However, the fact is “the larger the woman’s breasts the less intelligent the men around her become ..”

The Secret of Longevity: (Wonder whether Baba Ramdev did say this..)
Morning: Two eggs with milk, Evening: Two pegs with chips, Night: Two legs with lips

The Theory of Reverse Dynamics:
When a man becomes rich, he becomes naughty, and when a woman becomes naughty, she becomes rich ..

The Boss to a lady aspirant to the post of a Secretary:
“What is the difference between a paper clip and a screw?”
Lady: “I do not know. I have never been paperclipped”

Bholajee after the interview :
“Everything went well till the time they asked me to show my testimonials.
I guess I showed them the wrong thing.”

Famous Quotes from famous people

Posted on 07. Feb, 2007 by Alicia in Jokes

David Bissonette

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

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New Cocktail Drink

Posted on 04. Feb, 2007 by Alicia in Jokes

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
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